The London Underground Explained!

In 1798 a chap called Ralph Todd attempted to build a tunnel under the Thames between Tilbury and Gravesend. It was a bit of a cock-up as he first ran into quicksand, then ran out of money (superb project management).

The London Underground has come a long way since then: 274* stations, 3,900 trains, and 942 million passengers each year.

For the geeks out there:

• Busiest station: Victoria with over 85 million passengers per year.
• Lowest Station: Two options here: Westminster Jubilee line is 105ft below sea level; but Hamstead is 192ft below surface level.
• Longest tube line: Central line (46miles)
• Furthest station away from central london: Amersham (27 miles)

*the Transport for London website claims that there are 275 stations; this is not the case - they have just closed Heathrow Terminal 4 (it will reopen in 2006 though).

So what to talk about? I could talk about the history of the underground, but you can find that here, I could amaze you with my knowledge of rolling stock but (a) you would all take the piss and (b) you can learn all about it here. For the hardcore drinkers I could tell you about the Circle line pub crawl, but, would you believe it - someones got a website about that too.

So what I am going to do is give you my top ten(sorry, nine) tips for surviving the underground:

1. Do not talk, do not make eye contact. Talking, laughing, smiling or making eye contact are simply not done on the underground. A great example of this rule in practice was when Tony Blair made the faux pas of attempting to talk to a passenger on the Jubilee line who, much to the ammusement of the press pack, stuck to ettiquette and completely ignored him.
2. Remember the tube map is schematic The map bears very little geographical relationship to where the stations are and even less geographical information on how far apart stations are. In Bill Bryson's "Notes From a Small Island", Bryson observes that an out-of-town visitor using the map to get from Bank Station to Mansion House, would quite understandably board a Central Line train to Liverpool Street, transfer to the Circle Line and continue for another five stops to Mansion House. At which point they would emerge 200 yards down the street from the location they'd started at.
3. Mind the gap Curved platforms can lead to rather large gaps between the train and the platform. In a bid to avoid loosing customers down 'the gap' tannoy announcements warn alighting passengers at stations where the gap is particuarly large (e.g Waterloo). When I was a lad, there was a loud shouty man doing the announcements. He has since been replaced with Sonia (so called because she gets sonia nerves)
4. Don't fall asleep Take it from me, waking up at Uxbridge at 1am and realising there are no more trains back into London until 0545 is not a nice experience.
5. Surviving the Barriers Here's how they work. (1) Put your ticket in (2) Unless it is the end of your journey you habe to take your ticket out of the slot on top of the barrier (3) Barrier opens (4) Walk through. If the ticket does not work, do not keep retrying it, it will not magicaly start working again. Contact staff to open the barrier for you. Brute force does not work (although it can be amusing for your fellow travellers to watch).
6. Never change at Bank for Monument. Just don't. Take my word for it.
7. Take Water/Fan in the summer In the Summer the tube gets very, very hot. Carry water with you, and only use the tubes if you really have to. A recent competition encouraging the public to come up with inventive ways of cooling the network generated various initiatives, my favourite being: "Crank up the power on the London Eye, and make it an oversized fan." Genius.
8. Walk! (covent garden to Leicester square) Covent Garden and Leicester Square stations on the Picadilly line are only 0.16miles apart. By the time you factor in the stairs, corridors and escalators involved, it really is much faster to walk.
9. Exception to the no talking/no eye contact rule Most rules have exceptions, and this one is no different. Circle line parties are that exception. The object of a circle line party is to get a group of like minded people together and organise a tube train party. Key things to remember are (a) there are no toilets so drink spirits rather than lager (b) the poles ideal for pole dancing competitions (c) when the train is in a station stay quiet and look innocent...

THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN FITZROY (The Shipping Forecast Explained!)

About 00:48 every morning, BBC Radio 4 issues the Shipping forecast.

"AND NOW THE SHIPPING FORECAST ISSUED BY THE MET OFFICE, ON BEHALF OF THE MARITIME AND COASTGUARD AGENCY, AT 0045 ON TUESDAY 22 FEBRUARY 2005...."


On a practical level, the forecast offers essential (and potentially life saving) information to ocean going trawlers, ferries and oil-rig supply vessels.
For the rest of us, the shipping forecast is a mantra, a lullaby; comforting in its regularity and consistancy: thought provoking as it takes you on an out-of-body journey round the British isles visiting oil-skin clad fisherman and watching them do battle with heavy seas and storm force winds.

The language is always the same and is spoken slowly, procisely and without emotion. This is important as a listener may be straining to hear in rough seas on the edge of the long wave transmission range.

Before I started the MBA, I would often fall asleep listening to the shipping forecast; nowdays it serves as a reminder to take a 10 minute break from the books and get a cup of tea!

The forecast format is very strict. It begins with gale warnings (winds of force 8 or more)

"...THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN HEBRIDES, BAILEY AND FAIR ISLE..."

A high level summary follows: The General Synopsis. This provides the position, pressure and track of pressure areas (e.g. Low, /Bailey, 983, deepening slowly, expected Fair Isle 978 by 0500 tomorrow).
This is followed by area specific forecasts covering:

• Wind direction and strengh(on the Beaufort scale). If the wind is changing direction it will either be described as veering (clockwise) or backing (anticlockwise).
• Precipitation (Rain, snow)
• Visibility (good, poor)
• Ice warnings (light, severe). Icing basically means that spray blown off the sea will freeze as soon as it hits the ship. This is not a good thing as it makes ships top heavy and could cause them to be less stable.

Once the ocean forecast is complete, there is then another section, in a slightly different format, that covers inshore waters, and takes the listener on another clockwise spin around the coast.
From Cape Wrath to Duncansby Head including Orkney. Wind: south 4 or 5, veering west 4 by midday, then later backing south to southwest 3 or 4. Patchy light rain or drizzle at first, but becoming fair by the afternoon. Visibility: good, risk moderate in light rain or drizzle at first.

The place names do not mean much to the average 'landlubber', but this does not matter - it is the hypnotic poetry of it that makes it essential listening:
Forties, Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger South veering southwest 4 or 5. Rain or showers. Moderate or good.
Fisher West or southwest 3 or 4, occasionally 5. Thundery rain. Moderate or poor.
German Bight Northwest 5 in east at first, otherwise southwest 3 increasing 5, occasionally 6. Thundery showers. Moderate or poor.
From Duncansby Head to Whitby. Wind: south 3 or 4, locally 5 in north of area at first, but becoming variable 2 or 3 in all parts during the afternoon. Partly cloudy at times, but fair. Visibility: good.

We Brits are well known for our obsession with the weather; listening to the shipping forecast is an extention to that obsesion. It reminds us of who we are - that we are an island race. It reminds us that while we are comforted by double glazing and double duvets, people are out there risking their lives to earn a living. It makes as realise just how small we are in the big scale of things.
It is a kind of womb music for adults, a comfort blanket on the airwaves, a Long-wave lullaby. It never fails to calm me down after a bad day, and always helps me drift of to sleep...

for the latest forecast click here

Lent Explained! & Pancakes Explained!

Two for the price of one!

This post was put together by Mark Holmes, thanks Mark.

Lent is a 40-day period of preparation for Easter observed by many Christians.

Easter Sunday commemorates Jesus Christ rising from the dead, and is the most important feast in the Christian year. Good Friday, immediately before it, commemorates Jesus' death on the cross, and the previous day (Maundy Thursday) commemorates Jesus' last meal, when the Eucharist or Holy Communion was instituted.

To prepare for these important feasts, Christians have traditionally observed Lent as a period of prayer, almsgiving (giving money to the poor), and fasting and self-denial. This is about remembering that some things matter more than material possessions, and recognising what they have done wrong and asking God for forgiveness. The idea is to be in fellowship with God by the time of Easter. Lent also commemorates the period of 40 days that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert earlier in his life, praying and fasting. (Don't worry too much about the 40 days: scholars think it was a Hebrew phrase meaning 'a long time'.)

Thanks to the Council of Nicaea in the year 325, Easter Sunday is the first Sunday after the first ecclesiastical full moon on or after the vernal equinox (21 March). So this year, it is 27 March. (That is, in the Western church: Eastern Orthodox churches have a different calendar.) So Lent starts next Wednesday, 9 February. (It comes to 40 days because they don't count Sundays - the Orthodox church doesn't count Saturdays either.)

This is called Ash Wednesday, because during the church service the priest makes the sign of the cross on people's foreheads using ash, as a sign of our mortality, saying "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return". (At least, this happens in the Roman Catholic church and some Anglican churches. There is a wide range of different practices and perspectives in the different Christian denominations, which makes it hard to generalise. The ashes come from burning the palm branches used on Palm Sunday the previous year.)

Not very much of the Lenten observance of prayer, almsgiving and self-denial is obvious in British society today. But popular playground culture has adopted the self-denial in "giving something up for Lent" - like chocolate, or alcohol. In some churches, the ceremonial aspects are reduced a bit to focus on the basics - for example, statues are covered up with purple cloth, or there is less music.

Historically, fasting was taken much more seriously: you were only allowed one meal a day, and no meat, fish, eggs or milk. So during Lent, people had no use for milk and sugar. The tradition developed in Britain of using up these ingredients the day before Lent, by making pancakes. This day is called Shrove Tuesday, from the word "shrive", meaning to confess your sins, say sorry to God and do penance - as you do in Lent. The French name, Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday), seems more honest. Some parts of the world don't just get all their milk and sugar out of the way before Lent, but all their partying, with a Carnival - which means "farewell to meat".

Follow the link in the post below to find out how to make pancakes. whilst they can be eaten with a variety of toppings, the topping of choice in the UK is Lemon juice and sugar. For those that are interested, the Cranfield Student Association (sorry to all our non Cranfield readers) are offering you the chance to take part in a traditional pancake race. To enter, assemble a team of 4 capable of dashing 100 metres tossing a pancake as they go. Download the entry form here or call into the CSA bar, shop or office to pick one up. Entries to be in by Friday 4th February along with the entry fee of £4. Team frying pan essential. All proceeds to the Samaritans.